Another week of working a little over 50 hours. I tried to find time during the week to relax, and I occasionally succeeded, but it was a hard week.
Monday I had a professional massage which was probably the best thing ever! I bought a coupon for it online so it was 1/2 off and I had it scheduled for about a month now. I had almost forgotten about it, so when I went it was just a special treat between jobs. It felt amazing!! Having to go to work afterwards felt like a cruel joke, but it went fine.
Wednesday I caught up with a good friend between jobs in the afternoon. She wanted to look at shoes so we did a little shopping and then got coffee. It was nice to talk for a while. Then I worked until 7 and tutored for another hour until 8:30. Then my friends had the first bonfire of the season and I decided to skip a full nights sleep and go. Really I just wanted to be social and felt the need to be out of my own head for a little while, so I went over there and hung out for a while. I didn't get home until late. Let's just say running on 6 hours of sleep, especially in the middle of week probably isn't the best idea.
Thursday was a rough day is so many ways. It started out with the shower curtain falling down as I was getting out of the shower, and having to kill 2 spiders before even leaving my house, one of which was right near my towel as I got out of the shower, and the other in the kitchen while I was making my lunch... I am not a fan of spiders. The kids at school were okay, a little snippy in general but I got through my 5 hours there. Then I went to work at the city school. That's where everything seemed to fall apart. I ended up with a student crying (caused by another student looking at him). My group of kids got through the lesson but just barely and really didn't seem to learn much in the long run. It was kind of discouraging and at the end the director for the site asked if I wanted to switch groups with another teacher. It was just another reminder of how much of a failure I've been with these students. I know that this other teacher knows these students better because she works in the school and has known them for a few years. She tried telling me not to take it personally and that they are really hard kids and that it isn't my fault at all, but I can't help but thinking (and knowing) that I'm not doing enough for them. So come Tuesday I'll be switching and working with a different group of kids. I hate knowing that I couldn't handle this situation and help these kids. I'm also trying to tell myself that this will be a better situation for them and that the other teacher will hopefully be able to keep the one problem student in line better and make the group more manageable.
I walked out of that school feeling like a complete failure, as if I should just stop trying to teach. I made it to my car before crying, but even that I couldn't give in to for more than a few minutes because I had to go to work. I got to the learning center and worked with a couple of students for 3 hours. It was as if everything was falling apart. I was working with SAT students for a few hours, and it was my first time doing that so it was a bit of a learning curve. Plus I was running out of random supplies like graph paper and things that I borrowed from other teachers but I just felt totally off kilter. By 8pm I was pretty sure that I needed to go home, have a good cry and a drink. I talked to my Dad on the way home, which helped a little, I talked to a few other friends once I got home (and poured myself some wine) which helped and hurt. It was good to talk but it was also a reminder of how alone I really am. Most of the people I could talk to were online because they don't live close by. That's my own fault for keeping people at a distance, but when I have bad days sometimes it would be really nice to have someone close by to call up and get a hug from.
Friday was a little better. School was okay. I was still doubting my teaching ability in every way, shape, and form. Not to mention the fact that I was tired which made answering math questions that I had already done multiple times that week kind of boring. After school I stopped at the bank, then did laundry, continued to read the second book in the Hunger Games trilogy, and tried to relax a bit. That night I went to the lovely Jolly Rancher party my friends were having for a few hours. Having to work in the morning limits the amount of fun I could have. I did enjoy a little bit of the Jolly Rancher vodka that was made and socialized for a while.
Saturday morning I worked for an hour longer than I was scheduled because they needed someone to stay. All of the kids were pretty easy so I can't complain. During the middle of the day I came home, read for a while and tried to take a nap. Then I went to work at Old Navy from 6-10. Once I got home, I had a drink to relax, a few interesting conversations with people online and then crawled into bed.
This morning included work at Old Navy again 8-12 then shopping for clothes for the 80's party later this week (boy did I get a great outfit!) and then lunch and crashing again. I read for a while and then slept. I'm not sure what is going on but my body is not happy with me. My head is out to get me today. Despite the extra sleep and making sure to stay hydrated even small movements are making the pain significantly worse.
I'm having a hard time not thinking about things which is really annoying. There is a lot in my head, and I can't seem to logically work it out, but whenever I do think about it I just end up upset or frustrated by the lack of options, so I just try to ignore it. Kind of a vicious cycle.
I've got another long week ahead of me. Another 51 hours of work, but the 80's party is Friday night, and my friends going away fancy dinner party is Saturday night, so the weekend will be something to look forward to at least. Not to mention the fact that I only have 2 full weeks until spring break starts, which means 2 1/2 weeks until I'm in Michigan visiting friends.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Made it through another week... and another book
This week felt like it was never going to end. My co-worker at school was gone since her two sons made it to Nordic skiing nationals. That meant that I was at school for full days 3 out of 5 days and going straight to work afterwards. Not having much of a break (other than driving between jobs) and working basically 7:30am-8pm most days was just draining. Not to mention when it was busy in the math lab I was alone, which meant I was bouncing between up to 15 kids at once all working on different material. From Monday to Saturday I worked a total of 51 hours. It doesn't sound like a whole lot, most people work 40ish so I really can't complain but by Friday night I was just trying to stay awake at work!
Don't get me wrong, I like my jobs! Things are going really well at all of them. School is going well and once my coworker is back it will be easier to balance everything again. I truly love working at Sylvan! The kids at the city school are getting easier to work with. Some days are still harder than others but that's life working with kids in general. Some include tears, others involve shouting, regularly both happen, it really just depends on tempers. Work at the centers is going really well! I enjoy just being able to walk in and teach! I don't have to worry about doing office work, or working about whether or not if I say something it will lead to an argument or a passive aggressive week of hell. It's nice to just come in and work with kids and do math! Old Navy, is just Old Navy. I'm there about once a week and that's just fine with me. This past week we had to call the cops because we had a sketchy customer shoplift... oh the eventfulness of my life.
Do I wish for a full time teaching job? Everyday! I'm going to apply all over and hope for something this summer because I can't keep doing this to myself. Working three jobs pays the bills but just barely and it isn't really keeping me completely sane, and when it comes down to it I don't have time for all of the things I'd like to do.
I was so run down yesterday that I just gave in. I think my body is trying to stay ahead of a cold. I'm not sure what it is exactly. I've got a bit of a sore throat, my head hurts more than usual (which isn't saying much), I've been more tired (which could be due to working more), and I had a low grade fever. So instead of even attempting homework or anything productive or social I sat at home and was a total bum! I watched tv shows on my computer and read a book and a took a nap. I knew I needed to lay low and try to stay healthy or ahead of whatever it was. I'm feeling better today, at least I have more energy. Still have a weird feeling in my throat and chest and my temperature isn't quite right, but it's 60 degrees outside in March so I'm pretty sure nature isn't sure what's going on and my body is also confused!
On a positive note I finished reading The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I really enjoyed the book and look forward to reading the next two. It wasn't my typical reading but after hearing so many good things I borrowed it from a friend and read it. Because of my readings for grad class and just the amount of time I spend working I didn't finish it as quickly as I wanted to, but yesterday laying in bed and then when I woke up this morning I just couldn't put it down. There was plenty of action, emotion, and thought provoking questions/statements to keep the book moving. I highly recommend it!
Don't get me wrong, I like my jobs! Things are going really well at all of them. School is going well and once my coworker is back it will be easier to balance everything again. I truly love working at Sylvan! The kids at the city school are getting easier to work with. Some days are still harder than others but that's life working with kids in general. Some include tears, others involve shouting, regularly both happen, it really just depends on tempers. Work at the centers is going really well! I enjoy just being able to walk in and teach! I don't have to worry about doing office work, or working about whether or not if I say something it will lead to an argument or a passive aggressive week of hell. It's nice to just come in and work with kids and do math! Old Navy, is just Old Navy. I'm there about once a week and that's just fine with me. This past week we had to call the cops because we had a sketchy customer shoplift... oh the eventfulness of my life.
Do I wish for a full time teaching job? Everyday! I'm going to apply all over and hope for something this summer because I can't keep doing this to myself. Working three jobs pays the bills but just barely and it isn't really keeping me completely sane, and when it comes down to it I don't have time for all of the things I'd like to do.
I was so run down yesterday that I just gave in. I think my body is trying to stay ahead of a cold. I'm not sure what it is exactly. I've got a bit of a sore throat, my head hurts more than usual (which isn't saying much), I've been more tired (which could be due to working more), and I had a low grade fever. So instead of even attempting homework or anything productive or social I sat at home and was a total bum! I watched tv shows on my computer and read a book and a took a nap. I knew I needed to lay low and try to stay healthy or ahead of whatever it was. I'm feeling better today, at least I have more energy. Still have a weird feeling in my throat and chest and my temperature isn't quite right, but it's 60 degrees outside in March so I'm pretty sure nature isn't sure what's going on and my body is also confused!
On a positive note I finished reading The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I really enjoyed the book and look forward to reading the next two. It wasn't my typical reading but after hearing so many good things I borrowed it from a friend and read it. Because of my readings for grad class and just the amount of time I spend working I didn't finish it as quickly as I wanted to, but yesterday laying in bed and then when I woke up this morning I just couldn't put it down. There was plenty of action, emotion, and thought provoking questions/statements to keep the book moving. I highly recommend it!
Friday, March 9, 2012
Chicken Wing Dip, Meatballs, and Apple Crisp
So this past Sunday I had 10 or so people over for dinner and games. It went a lot better than I expected which was surprising. I wasn't sure what to expect really and I wanted to try a new recipe that I had seen when I was watching the Food Network with my Mom over February break so I decided to go the multiple appetizers for dinner route. So my plan was hummus, chicken wing dip, bbq (comfort) meatballs, and apple crisp (gluten free of course) for dessert. The meatball recipe was new to me and I got the apple crisp recipe from my mom but had never actually made it for myself.
The hummus was store bought because I was lazy. I just served it with carrots, celery and tortilla chips since I can't eat pita.
Chicken Wing Dip (courtesy of Meghan)
Ingredients:
2 packages (8 oz.) cream cheese
3/4 cup Red Hot (hot sauce)
1 cup Ranch dressing
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups cooked dices/shredded chicken (I get a rotisserie chicken and just pick it apart because it is cheap and the left overs are great and then I don't have to do the cooking!)
Directions:
1.) Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2.) Soften cream cheese in the microwave, 30 seconds is usually enough, just so that it breaks up with a spoon.
3.) Mix everything together in a bowl so that it is incorporated evenly.
4.) Put in either a 9x13 baking disk or a round casserole dish (this is what I use- I think its a 2 qt. size) and bake 30 minutes.
BBQ (Comfort) Meatballs (Courtesy of Ree Drummond Food Network)
Ingredients:
Meatballs:
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
3/4 cup quick oats
1 cup milk
3 tablespoons very finely minced onion
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
plenty of ground black pepper
4 tablespoons canola oil
1/2 cup flour (if gluten free use white rice flour)
Sauce:
1 cup ketchup
4 to 6 tablespoons minced onion
3 tablespoons distilled white vinegar
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
dash of hot sauce (I used Red Hot because it's what I had)
Directions:
1.) In a bowl combine beef and oats. Pour in the milk then add the onions, salt and pepper. Stir to combine (I just used my hands because it's easier).
2.) Roll the mixture into tablespoon-sized balls and refrigerate them for 30-45 minutes to set firm.
3.) Mix all of the ingredients for the sauce together in a bowl and combine well.
4.) Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
5.) Heat the canola oil in a large skillet over medium heat.
6.) Dredge the meatballs in the flour and then brown the meatballs in batches until light brown. As they brown place them into a 9 x 13 baking pan.
7.) Pour the bbq sauce over them and mix evenly.
8.) Bake until bubbly and hot, about 45 minutes.
Apple Crisp (Gluten Free, Easy, and Delicious!)
Ingredients:
Filling:
4-6 apples depending on size (I used 5 apples total- 3 Fuji and 2 Golden Delicious)
1 tsp lemon juice
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons cinnamon
pinch of salt
Topping:
1 cup oats (I used the quick oats that I had and they worked fine)
1/2 cup brown sugar
6 tablespoons white rice flour (if you aren't gluten free just use normal flour)
8 tablespoons cold butter
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp nutmeg
Directions:
1.) Preheat oven to 400 degrees
2.) Peel and cube/chunk apples.
3.) Mix all of the filling ingredients together in a bowl (using your hands works well) then pour them into a 9x13 pan.
4.) Depending on how much topping you like you have two options. When I made this for friends I doubled the topping recipe. I like a decent amount of crunch and crisp to go with my apples, if you are like that I suggest doubling it as well. You can always make one batch and if it doesn't look like enough go back and make another one.
5.) Mix the the oats, brown sugar, rice flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg together until well blended. Then cut the butter into small cubed and mix in with your hands until you have a good consistency. It will all come together pretty well.
6.) Top the apple mixture and cover completely.
7.) Bake 30-40 minutes until bubbly. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream!
The hummus was store bought because I was lazy. I just served it with carrots, celery and tortilla chips since I can't eat pita.
Chicken Wing Dip (courtesy of Meghan)
Ingredients:
2 packages (8 oz.) cream cheese
3/4 cup Red Hot (hot sauce)
1 cup Ranch dressing
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups cooked dices/shredded chicken (I get a rotisserie chicken and just pick it apart because it is cheap and the left overs are great and then I don't have to do the cooking!)
Directions:
1.) Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2.) Soften cream cheese in the microwave, 30 seconds is usually enough, just so that it breaks up with a spoon.
3.) Mix everything together in a bowl so that it is incorporated evenly.
4.) Put in either a 9x13 baking disk or a round casserole dish (this is what I use- I think its a 2 qt. size) and bake 30 minutes.
BBQ (Comfort) Meatballs (Courtesy of Ree Drummond Food Network)
Ingredients:
Meatballs:
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
3/4 cup quick oats
1 cup milk
3 tablespoons very finely minced onion
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
plenty of ground black pepper
4 tablespoons canola oil
1/2 cup flour (if gluten free use white rice flour)
Sauce:
1 cup ketchup
4 to 6 tablespoons minced onion
3 tablespoons distilled white vinegar
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
dash of hot sauce (I used Red Hot because it's what I had)
Directions:
1.) In a bowl combine beef and oats. Pour in the milk then add the onions, salt and pepper. Stir to combine (I just used my hands because it's easier).
2.) Roll the mixture into tablespoon-sized balls and refrigerate them for 30-45 minutes to set firm.
3.) Mix all of the ingredients for the sauce together in a bowl and combine well.
4.) Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
5.) Heat the canola oil in a large skillet over medium heat.
6.) Dredge the meatballs in the flour and then brown the meatballs in batches until light brown. As they brown place them into a 9 x 13 baking pan.
7.) Pour the bbq sauce over them and mix evenly.
8.) Bake until bubbly and hot, about 45 minutes.
Apple Crisp (Gluten Free, Easy, and Delicious!)
Ingredients:
Filling:
4-6 apples depending on size (I used 5 apples total- 3 Fuji and 2 Golden Delicious)
1 tsp lemon juice
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons cinnamon
pinch of salt
Topping:
1 cup oats (I used the quick oats that I had and they worked fine)
1/2 cup brown sugar
6 tablespoons white rice flour (if you aren't gluten free just use normal flour)
8 tablespoons cold butter
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp nutmeg
Directions:
1.) Preheat oven to 400 degrees
2.) Peel and cube/chunk apples.
3.) Mix all of the filling ingredients together in a bowl (using your hands works well) then pour them into a 9x13 pan.
4.) Depending on how much topping you like you have two options. When I made this for friends I doubled the topping recipe. I like a decent amount of crunch and crisp to go with my apples, if you are like that I suggest doubling it as well. You can always make one batch and if it doesn't look like enough go back and make another one.
5.) Mix the the oats, brown sugar, rice flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg together until well blended. Then cut the butter into small cubed and mix in with your hands until you have a good consistency. It will all come together pretty well.
6.) Top the apple mixture and cover completely.
7.) Bake 30-40 minutes until bubbly. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Relaxing break!
It was so nice to not have work every single day! Sleeping in until 8:30 or even 9:30 (when my body woke up on it's own) felt amazing! I only worked a total of 3 hours the whole week!! I can't remember the last time that happened, probably around Christmas time which really isn't that long ago in the grand scheme of things, but it feels like it. I was social and got coffee and caught up with friends which was probably the most important part of break for me. I find and make time during my busy schedule to see friends and "be around" other people, but that doesn't mean that I'm actually finding out what is going on in their lives and truly connecting with them. Over break I was able to do that with a handful of people that mean a lot to me.
I also spent a long weekend at my parents place in NJ. This was partly just to get away, but it was also partly to see my parents. During college I went months at a time between seeing them and it never really phased me but I knew it was hard for my parents, but at that point they still had my brother at home. Right after college I lived with my parents for a year which was stressful for everyone and it reminded me so much of high school that I thought it would take quite a while for me to miss them. Since they've moved and been away from my brother and I it's been harder on them, especially my Mom. And I've realized that they are very supportive and I really do appreciate it, it's just easier from a distance! So I drove the 6 hours down and got in around dinner time. My Dad was out of town most of the weekend so I had a lot of girl time with Mom. We had dinner and ran a few errands. My Mom works in a local kindergarten classroom in the afternoons and Friday was pajama day so I went in and helped out. We all got to wear our pajamas and eat pizza and popcorn and watch a video. It was really funny to work with kindergartners. I'm used to high school kids and older elementary students, so working with such little students was definitely an adjustment. They were super cute though. They just thought it was crazy that their teacher had a daughter who was also a teacher! That night we drove to Delaware to see my grandparents. They just moved into an apartment there from Arizona so that they would be closer to all of us on the east coast. I hadn't seen them since August so it was nice to have dinner with them and catch up. On Saturday Mom and I had a lazy morning just making breakfast together and relaxing. Then we went to the outlet mall and found some great deals! I found some great dress clothes for work for both now and spring/summer. Mom found work clothes and stuff to relax in on the weekends. She also found an awesome deal on kitchen stuff she had been looking for. Sunday morning my Dad got home so we all had brunch together and talked for a bit and caught up. It was nice to see him, I wish he had been there the whole weekend but he had to travel for work and I didn't decide to come down until the week before so there wasn't too much that could be done. I left their place around 1 and drove home. It was a quick trip but definitely worth it.
This past week has been busy as usual. I started the week off by going to see a movie with friends after work, which meant that I didn't get home until 10:45 and didn't go to bed until 11:45 (because I hadn't eaten dinner before the movie). Starting the week on only 5 1/2 hours of sleep probably wasn't the best idea but seeing friends was good. The rest of the week was pretty normal. I only worked a total of 43 hours and somehow managed to get the weekend off without requesting it off! It's like I'm a semi-normal adult, I just had to work 3 jobs to do that and get lucky by chance! Next week will be harder. Right now I'm scheduled for 51 hours not to mention trying to get homework done and tutor another student for at least an hour in there somewhere. Plus if I'm lucky I'll get to be social, or at least see another human being that isn't a student or coworker in there somewhere.
This weekend is looking pretty promising. I'm planning to get my homework done today if possible, at least most of it. Then tomorrow night I'm making bbq meatballs and chicken wing dip and having people over for dinner and board games. A lot of people are out of town so we'll see how it goes but I had to take advantage of the fact that I actually have time off. Plus I want to try this meatball recipe. I'll post the recipes in my next post along with details of how they turn out.
I also spent a long weekend at my parents place in NJ. This was partly just to get away, but it was also partly to see my parents. During college I went months at a time between seeing them and it never really phased me but I knew it was hard for my parents, but at that point they still had my brother at home. Right after college I lived with my parents for a year which was stressful for everyone and it reminded me so much of high school that I thought it would take quite a while for me to miss them. Since they've moved and been away from my brother and I it's been harder on them, especially my Mom. And I've realized that they are very supportive and I really do appreciate it, it's just easier from a distance! So I drove the 6 hours down and got in around dinner time. My Dad was out of town most of the weekend so I had a lot of girl time with Mom. We had dinner and ran a few errands. My Mom works in a local kindergarten classroom in the afternoons and Friday was pajama day so I went in and helped out. We all got to wear our pajamas and eat pizza and popcorn and watch a video. It was really funny to work with kindergartners. I'm used to high school kids and older elementary students, so working with such little students was definitely an adjustment. They were super cute though. They just thought it was crazy that their teacher had a daughter who was also a teacher! That night we drove to Delaware to see my grandparents. They just moved into an apartment there from Arizona so that they would be closer to all of us on the east coast. I hadn't seen them since August so it was nice to have dinner with them and catch up. On Saturday Mom and I had a lazy morning just making breakfast together and relaxing. Then we went to the outlet mall and found some great deals! I found some great dress clothes for work for both now and spring/summer. Mom found work clothes and stuff to relax in on the weekends. She also found an awesome deal on kitchen stuff she had been looking for. Sunday morning my Dad got home so we all had brunch together and talked for a bit and caught up. It was nice to see him, I wish he had been there the whole weekend but he had to travel for work and I didn't decide to come down until the week before so there wasn't too much that could be done. I left their place around 1 and drove home. It was a quick trip but definitely worth it.
This past week has been busy as usual. I started the week off by going to see a movie with friends after work, which meant that I didn't get home until 10:45 and didn't go to bed until 11:45 (because I hadn't eaten dinner before the movie). Starting the week on only 5 1/2 hours of sleep probably wasn't the best idea but seeing friends was good. The rest of the week was pretty normal. I only worked a total of 43 hours and somehow managed to get the weekend off without requesting it off! It's like I'm a semi-normal adult, I just had to work 3 jobs to do that and get lucky by chance! Next week will be harder. Right now I'm scheduled for 51 hours not to mention trying to get homework done and tutor another student for at least an hour in there somewhere. Plus if I'm lucky I'll get to be social, or at least see another human being that isn't a student or coworker in there somewhere.
This weekend is looking pretty promising. I'm planning to get my homework done today if possible, at least most of it. Then tomorrow night I'm making bbq meatballs and chicken wing dip and having people over for dinner and board games. A lot of people are out of town so we'll see how it goes but I had to take advantage of the fact that I actually have time off. Plus I want to try this meatball recipe. I'll post the recipes in my next post along with details of how they turn out.
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