End of Summer!

Well the rest of the summer has flown by. I moved, camp has ended, I've gone on a wonderful date with Jason to a winery, and I've been able to meet up with a few friends from high school and college before school starts up next week.

A few weeks ago I moved in with a new friend. We met through Jason and it has been smooth sailing ever since. We found a place quickly, put an application in and were approved within a few days. The move went smoothly, always a lot of work to pack and then unpack, but I'm very happy in our townhouse. We've got a good amount of space to share and it is close to school, Wegmans, friends, and almost everything else we could want!

The end of camp was rough. The kids were good for the most part. They were still having fun, a few lovely behavior issues as always, but it wasn't too bad. The staff I had to work with made for a hard time. Some were very good, and others decided about halfway through the summer to stop all communication and it became very tense and stressful. It was a difficult end to the summer. By the end I really didn't want to go to work and I'm quite sure that I won't do it again full time next summer just so that I can have some sanity.

As a way to relax once camp ended Jason and I did a winery visit and picnic. We went to Miracle Valley Vineyards and it was a beautiful afternoon. We spent time enjoying a nice lunch picnic on the grounds after a delicious wine tasting! I know it's sappy but here is a cute picture of the two of us together.

This week has been great! I have a week and a half off before staff have to be back at school to get ready for students and the year to start. Monday I slept in, relaxed all morning, was slightly productive around the place finishing unpacking and hanging things, and then I got a haircut. I was able to relax again at night. Tuesday I went out to lunch and then it spilled into coffee with one of my best friends from high school. It was awesome to hang out with her, she lives right outside DC and she isn't that far away but we don't get together nearly enough. Tuesday night was Jason and mines 7 months. He made me dinner and we relaxed together. It was a nice, quiet night. Today I was able to get together with a good friend from college who just recently moved to MD and is only about 45 minutes away. I'm so excited to have her closer, and hanging out all afternoon was awesome! Tomorrow I'm splurging and using a Groupon to get my nails done and pamper myself a little bit. Then I have a phone date planned with a good friend from home. Thursday night I'm getting together with some girl friends for drinks before the craziness of school starts. I have another phone date planned with another friend for Friday. It should be a wonderful end to the week. I'm super excited for it. The only downside is that I have to read a book for school, but it is short and shouldn't be too bad.

This weekend my parents are coming for a visit. We are going to see some family in DC and get a few things while they are here, otherwise we are just going to relax and let them site-see throughout the area and enjoy some time together.

I'm oddly looking forward to getting back to school. I know it will be a lot of work, and it will be different from last year but I'm up for the challenge. Hopefully my kids this year are ready to work with me and put in a good year!

Summer Update!

The end of school was busy but it went well. Both state and final testing went well and the end of the school year closed up well. I was very glad to find out that I will be at only one school next year. It will decrease my driving and my planning a bit as well.

My summer picked up quickly as soon as school ended. I'm working at a day camp program for parks and rec. It's been an interesting job so far. Kindergarten through 5th grade campers each day for at least 6 hours. I've forgotten how needy younger kids are. I've tied more shoes and opened more lunch packaged in the past few weeks than I can remember doing in a very long time. In general it is an okay job. I take kids to the pool, or on field trips once a week, and we play random games or go on the play ground at the school we are at. It's relatively fun, but there are the downsides as well. Plenty of stress to go with it. I probably won't do it again next summer, but for this summer it was worth it.

I was very lucky to have a few days off around the 4th of July to visit my parents at the Jersey Shore and then on to Boston for two friends wedding! I was so glad to get almost a week off to go away with Jason. Being on the beach with my parents and some of their friends was wonderful. I needed the time away and just being able to relax was priceless. Then driving to Boston and being able to see some great friends and witness the beautiful wedding of two good friends was awesome.

I've been home for a week and was back at work. I've put in an application with a new friend on a 2 bedroom/2 bath townhouse. We are hoping to hear back on the place tomorrow so that we can move this coming weekend. I'm not looking forward to packing, moving, or unpacking, but having a bigger place and smaller rent will be very nice. Hopefully everything works out smoothly from here on out!!

This past weekend was my 6th month anniversary with Jason. I know it sounds cheesy but it was a wonderful night to celebrate. We got dressed up and went out to a nice dinner. Then we traded gifts. He gave me two very nice pictures on canvases. One was from the summer camp I used to go to and worked at and the other was from the college I went to. They are gorgeous!

Overall summer has been good so far. I'm looking forward to camp being over and having a few weeks to relax before school starts again.

Doctors Frustrate Me!

After being in pain for so long and dealing with headaches for as long as I have I really should have known better than to walk into a neurologists office with any hope at all. But I was an idiot, and I had hope that the person I was seeing would be knowledgeable and maybe even caring enough to find something, at least the time of day, to listen to what I was dealing with and try to problem solve some way to fix that problem.

Instead I walked into what felt like the most rushed, hyper, and ADHD appointment I've ever had. I felt like I needed to ask the doctor to calm down and take a breath. I was lucky if I could finish my sentence before he tried asking another question which was basically just repeating what I had just answered and had given him documentation of and was right in front of him. I'm really not trying to be a pessimistic jerk and I'm not trying to give this doctor a hard time but I did not feel like I was given the time of day, let alone adequate care.

The decision, up my dosage of one of the meds that I'm already on. Yep, the one that makes me not feel hungry and that I've been on a higher dose of before. Well, we can see if it helps my daily headaches but he even admitted it wouldn't touch the pain I'm in now. So at the end of the appointment when I finally pleaded with him, telling him I've been in extreme pain for 3 weeks now and I can't function or handle this any longer he basically told me that he didn't have many options for me. If it had been earlier in the "headache cycle" he would have considered putting me in the hospital for a few days and putting me on high dose drugs but because it has been so long he things I'd just be miserable in there and that it isn't worth my time. And my other option was to call two other doctors and talk to them about Occipital Nerve Blocks. He looked at me, almost hopefully, that I would just call them and try it. So I said I would and left. He did prescribe me an antihistamine that he thought might help, but is doubtful about as well. UGH!

So I called the two doctors he recommended for the other procedure... one is booked until the end of May, the other until July. Awesome....NOT! So I'm still stuck in a crap ton of pain, and really didn't get any help. So I'm stuck. I'm going to call another neurologists office tomorrow and see if I can get in anytime soon or at least talk with one of their doctors and get suggests. If not I might just be stuck going to the ER to see what they can do. I can't keep living in this much pain. I keep coming home feeling like death and just wanted to crash and not have any human interaction. I've been snapping at my students and my coworkers and they don't deserve it. I just feel bad! I can't keep trying to live like this, it isn't really living.

My students are mainly testing tomorrow so my weekend will be full of grading, it should be a blast! I just want to feel better so that maybe, someday I can have a real life again.

Extreme pain, Rushing, and Reviewing

I feel like the month of April has flown by! Somehow spring break ended and school just jumped into high gear. My algebra classes are now in two different places because the two different schools take the exams two weeks apart from each other. For the past few weeks they have been on the same schedule, but starting this week, until the end of the year, they will be doing different things, which means more planning for me and more balancing so that I know what day it is and what the heck I need to be doing. It should be interesting for sure.

The past few weeks at school have been full of teaching every last minute item under the sun! I think I relearned statistics in order to teach it. Some of the stuff they are expected to learn in Algebra 1 I didn't learn until AP stats, or at all, in all of my math classes, so it made for an interesting few weeks.

And then my head decided it would be a good time to attack me, literally. Starting a little over 2 weeks ago I got a migraine, that didn't go away, despite everything I tried. I'm at the point where I can handle pain. I've had a headache every day for 8 years now, this isn't anything new. But when it is a full blown migraine I take my meds, try to sleep it off and want to avoid any light or sound for a while. That is a very hard thing to do when you teach high school and are surrounded by fluorescent lights and loud children. So I spent the first weekend taking my normal medicine, getting as much sleep as possible, doing as little work as I could get away with, and being an overall bum. And when that didn't work I went to work on Monday and taught as if nothing was wrong. I spent a week trying to pretend that I was fine. I tried stronger medicine and when that didn't work I got a little worried but knew I had one more trick up my sleeve. So over last weekend, I took stuff stronger than morphine, granted it was a few years old, but this is strong stuff. It still had a bit of an effect on me. I was a bit out of it, not functioning well, but still in pain. It dulled the pain enough that I had one normal night, and then it came back. So I had another horrible week. What most people don't understand about being a teacher is that when you don't feel well and you take a sick day, there are 60 kids wondering where you are, needing questions answered and expecting you to be there to teach a lesson. So a sick day, especially this close to state tests, was out of the question. So I dealt with the pain and got through it. Thursday I finally gave in and went to see my doctor. I knew I had a neurologist appointment for next week, but figured I would tried my normal doctors office. Well, after having to wait for an hour just to be seen (despite having an appointment) the doctor I saw basically told me that there wasn't much they could do outpatient and I'd have to try to get in to see my neurologist sooner (good luck) or go to the ER. He gave me one thing to try (which didn't work in the past) and sent me on my way. So I'm now on another medicine for a week, that has annoying side effects, that is slightly dulling the pain but is not really helping. Overall I'm still in extreme pain and I can't do anything about it. I don't go to the neurologist until Thursday, and even then I'm not sure what he's going to tell me. I'm worried that he's going to send me to the ER and tell me I need an inpatient treatment, or IV painkillers. Both options do not fit into my schedule or life right now. Do I want the pain to end? Of course! But I don't have time to sit in the hospital either!

I am so exhausted from being in pain. I come home every night and just crash. I try to get as much work done at school as I can so that I don't have much to do at home. I can't seem to find the energy to grade or plan once I'm home because all I want to do is sleep. Just moving hurts and having to pretend that everything is okay at school makes it that much more draining. As if the pain wasn't bad enough, I have to hide it from most of the people around me just to function. It makes for a very long day.

And now I am done complaining. Given all of the horrible things that have happened this week I shouldn't be focused on me at all. I am so thankful that all of my friends in Boston, and everyone in that area, is safe and sound. It amazes me how much can happen and how quickly events can change.

The next few weeks are going to be as full as the past few. Hopefully they will be less painful and be a tad less stressful. I'm pretty sure that once the state tests are over I will be able to breathe a little bit better. Still have a lot of planning to do, but it will be a bit more relaxed. Thanks to everyone who has read this and is still putting up with me in real life and in cyber space.

Spring Break

Spring Break came at exactly the right time! The two weeks before break were a bit rough. I was dealing with a stressful situation at one of the schools I work at, and it didn't seem to get much better with time. And then I came down with a cold that wasn't bad but enough to knock me out for a day.

Break was amazing! I spent Saturday through Wednesday morning at my parents place in NJ. It was great to see them. I was there for Christmas but it was nice to just be with them (and not surrounded by other family, or family friends) and be able to eat, sleep, and relax. We didn't do much specifically since my parents had work during the week still but it eating home cooked meals was a plus. Not to mention going shopping with Mom for a day and finding some cute spring outfits was definitely fun!

Wednesday I drove up the coast of NJ a bit to see one of my friends from Rochester who now lives in NJ and had the day off. We hung out during the day. I can officially say I went to the beach, even if it was cold. We walked along the boardwalk and saw some of the rebuilding happening from the hurricane. It was a nice afternoon. That night we drove up to Jersey City and met up with two of my other friends who I know from Rochester. I hadn't seen any of them since I moved in August so this was an amazing trip for me. I didn't realize quite how much I missed everyone until we were all back in one room acting as if we hadn't missed a beat. We went into NYC for dinner and drinks and just spent the night catching up and having fun! I was reminded what it felt like to jump into a conversation and feel safe and comfortable from the beginning. I got so many hugs in an 18 hour period it was both comforting and a little saddening that things are so different here.

Thursday I drove home and crashed! I was exhausted. Who knew vacation could be so tiring?! I spent most of the day doing laundry and unpacking and that night I saw Jason (my boyfriend) and we just relaxed together. It was really good to see him again, even if it had only been 5 days since I had seen him, it felt like longer and I missed being able to tell him about my days in person.

Friday I had an interview for a summer camp position. It sounded pretty positive so I'm hoping that means I have a summer job! A little extra pocket money plus fun with kids never hurt anyone! The rest of the day I ran errands, did a little school work, got a haircut, and relaxed at night.

Saturday my head decided to attack me. I have been rather lucky lately and it hasn't been too bad. I've had a few days that have been worse than normal but they've been bearable. Saturday was like that, but when I woke up I didn't want to move, which made the rest of the day difficult. A bunch of Jason's friends were going into DC for lunch, to see some of the museums, and to enjoy the nice weather and he wanted me to come as well. So I did... and it was fun.

I'm still really skeptical about hanging out with his friends. They are very nice people, don't get me wrong, I just feel very out of place. They've grown up together, so whenever I'm with them I feel like an outsider looking in waiting for the inside joke or the story to be explained. I'm starting to get used to it. I just know that no matter what they will always be his friends and while I might end up being called a friend it won't be the same, or even close. I guess it shouldn't be, I'm just having a hard time putting things together in my head, especially after spending time with good friends this past week, and after being consistently told that "I think you'll really get along" or "you guys will be good friends."

Anyway, Sunday was Easter. I just graded papers and went grocery shopping. I did figure out that the best time to go grocery shopping was on a holiday at night! Wow was it dead! It was a busy but productive afternoon/evening.

I'm sad to see break over. Today we had a teacher workday, so it was finalizing grades for the 3rd quarter and then planning for 4th quarter. I can't believe I only have 9 more weeks in my 1st year teacher! It flew by!!! I'm hoping and praying that everything at school starts off a little bit smoother than how it ended before break. I would really prefer less stress for at least a week or two if possible.

Factoring "Hell", Different Pain, and Learning to be Social

I had forgotten how difficult it was to learn how to factor. Granted, for me it just kind of clicked when I learned it because that's how my mind works. But for the kids I am teaching, well let's just say that the majority of the time that is just not the case. I'm not sure why it is so hard to multiply and add, or for that matter know your multiplication facts at all, but it is! I've spent the past few weeks teaching, and reteaching, and reviewing how to factor (and add, subtract, and multiply polynomials). Their test is tomorrow and Monday and I'm slightly worried (actually terrified). There are a handful of kids that just shut down and decided not to do homework, or try at all, which meant they didn't get the much needed practice in. We'll see what happens!

Well I had a migraine this past weekend that decided to stick around for two days, despite medicine. That was not fun, especially because I was trying to be social and actually be a normal human being (more to come on that front). The pain was a reminder of how much worse it can get compared to the daily dull agony of normal life. 

The past two days of physical therapy have been a little rough. I realized how out of shape I was!! My physical therapist had me work balance on my "bad" leg for a while, which wasn't a problem since I can still stabilize pretty well. But then he decided squats in multiple forms would be a good idea. I understand the goal is the build the muscles around what isn't working correctly, but dear lord but the end of yesterday I was sore. I woke up this morning and was still sore and not sure how much I was going to be able to do today. I got through school and went to my appointment. I got through the warm-up, stretching, and balance exercises, I got through 3 sets of squats, but when I had to start doing a modified lunge I lost it! I was on my second set when my muscles started shaking and he realized I had to stop. It was sad!! Granted my hip and side of my leg were killing me, but my quads in general were just sore. Not a fun time. So then he manually worked the muscles that are not right, and now I'm bruised because they were/are so messed up he had to press so hard!! I wish I knew why my body was so messed up and how to fix it without causing more pain!

Learning to be social is an ongoing (and difficult) process for me. You'd think by the time I am 26 I'd feel comfortable meeting people and being around groups of people, but it is still something that I struggle with. I've gotten significantly better, especially since moving, but it is still hard. This past weekend I met my boyfriend's best friend and his wife and then spent the day hanging out with a handful of his closest friends (all with a migraine). It was a lot of fun. We got lunch, saw a movie, hung out at one of the guys places and then got dinner and hung out at his place a bit longer. It was a fun time and I enjoyed spending time with everyone. It was nice to get to know people a little bit better, despite being terrified. I'm not sure if I'm more on edge because of the implications associated with the people I'm meeting/hanging out with or if it is just because I don't know them well, but it was just hard. Not to mention being in extreme pain, super sensitive to light and sound, and not showing it to people is a lot of fun! NOT! It's difficult to hide and I'm sure I was acting differently than I would have normally, which annoys me a bit. 

The next day I was still in pain but had a lazy day and then went out with one of my friends and her boyfriend which was a bit easier for me because I knew them and had been out with them. I'm really just hoping that it gets easier for me to meet new people and feel comfortable. I might be meeting his Mom and brother this weekend, which makes me super nervous! 

We'll see how it all goes! This weekend holds a bunch of grading for sure! Not sure what else is really happening yet. 

School, Valentine's Day, and Pain

The three things in my title are luckily not related at all! I'm sure I could tie them together somehow, but for the most part I try to keep things slightly separate.

School has kept me pretty busy. In Algebra we are on to factoring, which honestly might be the death of me! I didn't realize it would be so difficult to teach, but for some reason adding to one number but multiplying to another is a very difficult concept for students to understand. I think part of why it is so hard for me is that it has been second nature for me for a while so I forgot what it was like to have to learn it. Watching my students go through those struggles reminded me of how painful math can be for some of them and how much they truly dislike it. I'm hoping that some of what is going on in class will stick, at least through exams.

I've had a very relaxing weekend with my boyfriend and Valentine's Day was quite lovely. We celebrated over a few days just because work tends to get in the day of things during the week. Wednesday was our one month, which was just kind of sweet to think about. It shocks me that one month ago I didn't even know him, and now I can't really imagine my life without him. He has been a wonderful addition to my life and makes me smile more than I can even put into words. Alright, I'll stop with all the sappiness! To celebrate Valentine's Day we exchanged presents and then went grocery shopping together and then cooked together. It was a nice way to relax together and share in what tends to be a very one sided individualistic event.

As for pain, well I'm sick of it! This time it's my hip, and according to my physical therapist also my IT bands in my leg. I'm not sure what exactly happened to it, but it's weak and hurts a lot and hasn't gotten better over the past two weeks so the doctor told me physical therapy was next. So I started today and I will be fitting it into my schedule for the next month, twice a week. Not cool! My head has been up and down lately too. I can hide it pretty well and just put up with it, but mix that in with not being able to walk or stand easily and it just makes for very long days.

This week is full of more factoring, speaking at the faculty meeting (oh joy), and normal teaching stuff. I think I am meeting another one of the boys best friends this coming weekend which is slightly terrifying. I'm starting to get better at meeting his friends and/or being around them, but that doesn't mean that its easier for me to think about or actually do.

New Beginnings, Frustrations, and Funny Weather

It has been close to a month since I have written and I feel like a lot has changed in that month. There have been some ups and downs, a few constants, and few new things.

School kept me very busy. After winter break, I was back for a day and then went to a conference, which was packed with good information. Then we had a week before midterm exams. Exam week itself was super productive for me, but just reminded me how frustrating the "two school" situation can be. Having two different grading policies to keep track of and just making sure everything was getting done right at both schools was a little more stressful than I would have liked. This week trying to get grades finished and staying on top of normal planning and teaching I somehow couldn't keep it all together and brought some stuff to the wrong school, or left things at school that needed to come home. It was a bit of a mess and I ended up quite frustrated with myself. Usually I'm much more organized and better about things. Luckily I had planned about a week ahead in lessons during midterm week, so I did have a decent amount done ahead of time and I wasn't working super late all week.

I finally found a dentist and doctor to go to in town. Not that its a huge deal, but given that I've been here about 6 months, it felt like the next step in getting more settled and in making Virginia more of my home.

Towards the beginning of the month I decided to try online dating. It was kind of on a whim and I really wasn't sure what to expect. In all honesty I was kind of terrified of the whole idea of meeting people I had only seen a picture of and possibly talked to a few times online. I had heard good things from a couple friends so I figured it couldn't hurt to try, if nothing else I would meet a few people and talk to them and maybe find some new places in the area to check out. I ended up talking to a handful of guys online, just through messages, and eventually met a couple in person. Talk about being nervous!! It has been a great learning process for me, that is for sure!

I can honestly say that I have met someone who I really enjoy spending time with and who makes me incredibly happy!  We've been going out regularly for 2 weeks now and I wouldn't trade a minute of it for anything! He's a great guy and has been able to figure out how to make me smile, get me to talk and feel comfortable opening up about life, and can make me laugh very easily. I feel very lucky to have met him and I'm excited to see what the future holds.

As for the funny weather, well the snow itself isn't funny, it is winter after all. But the fact that we have gotten a 2 hour delay and a 1 hour early release due to what totaled 2 inches of snow just makes me laugh! I'm used to feet of snow during the winter so only getting a dusting is kind of sad for me. I mean don't get me wrong, it makes traveling a lot easier and it has been nice to see it the past few days, but it is hilarious to get out of school due to a dusting! Don't get me wrong, I'll take it!

I'm hoping that the next week at school will go smoothly and that I can get myself back on track with planning and grading. Maybe we'll be lucky and get a full snow day (hey a girl can hope)!

What a Year!!

As I look back on this year I can't believe how much has happened. I have used this blog, and for a while a daily journal to keep track of the big events of life, and for that I'm grateful. This whole year has been full of changes, and a lot of learning experiences, none of which I would change.

Just under a year ago, at the start of 2012, I switched jobs, still working 3 at the same time, but I made a drastic change which was emotional but saved my sanity and in a lot of ways made me a stronger person. I spent the first half of 2012 working those 3 jobs, still regularly feelings stressed, lets face it 50-60 hours of work a week plus taking one grad class will do that. Somehow I managed to balance it, and looking back I'm really not sure how I did it. I lived like that for almost 2 full years but for some reason the beginning of this year (the last 6 months of that lifestyle) were the hardest. I remember telling friends in February/March that if I didn't have a "real" teaching job in the next school year I was going to have to find something different to do because I knew I wouldn't be able to keep living like that. Luckily everything worked out for the best.

I moved to Virginia!! How crazy is that?! When I look back on how the whole process happened, and how quickly I found out and had to make plans to move I'm still shocked it all worked out. I remember being scared, and totally unsure of what to expect. I didn't really think I could move to a completely different state and live on my own, not to mention teach high school math! Needless to say I was doubtful. I can honestly say that I wouldn't trade it for the world! I'm truly happy here, with the friends I've made, with the job I have, and with where I am living.

I learned the value of spending time and being in contact with people (in person and on the phone/internet in long distance instances). When I was in Rochester still I struggled with the social group I was in. I never quite felt like I fit in. Partly because I didn't have a lot of time to invest into the group and the activities, but also because we were all in different stages of life and I just didn't feel like I was in the right place. During the beginning of the year I learned what quality time meant. Seeking out people that are uplifting, positive, and loving has kept me going. After I moved to Virginia I felt truly alone. It was a terrifying but also wonderful experience. I slowly learned how to rely on myself, and how to truly trust those few people in my life that I've come to rely on for support. And I was lucky enough to meet some great people here. I feel as if I do fit in, at least more so, here. I still try to make time to stay in touch with those that matter to me that are far away, but it is harder than I'd like to admit.

I learned how important family is. Since my parents moved to NJ, I had been living at home in Rochester where I grew up without them, which was just strange. And then I moved and my parents made that process so much easier. I couldn't have done it without them! Now that I'm in Virginia I'm even closer to them, which is nice, plus one set of grandparents are close as well. It has been really good to consistently see family for holidays and be close.

I was reminded how important staying organized and planned is! Working at two different schools and being at a different place each day just means I really need to know what is coming up each day. I joke that I haven't gone to the wrong school yet, but that's only because I have multiple calendars highlighted and I have to consciously think about where to go before I leave my house each day.

Health wise I've had my ups and downs this year. I thought my headaches were more under control but the past few months have been a little worse than the beginning of the year. I'm hoping that in the next few months I can find a new doctor and regain some control. I know that the likelihood of this is slim, but I'm willing to try, or at least have a little bit of hope that it might get better eventually. Although 7 1/2 years proves otherwise. My vitamin b12 level had been giving me some trouble too. I think that is finally under control and back to where it should be, but for a while it way too low which meant that I was significantly more fatigued than I should be. It hasn't been the worst year by any means, and things are definitely looking up. Hopefully this year will continue to get easier, or at least less painful.

The past week and a half have been really good. Spending time at my parents place for Christmas was nice. Being with family was good, but then just having a few days to relax was amazing! Break seemed to fly by. Not quite sure I'm ready to get back to school, but it'll be nice to have a routine again.

I'm looking forward to seeing what this year holds. The changes from this year have been great and I think that this coming year is going to be pretty good as well!