What a week! I have felt so many different emotions and while I came home on edge and feeling very overwhelmed multiple times this week, I think I am finally feeling as if I might be ready for the first day of school (tomorrow). Now don't ask if I am ready for the days that are after that, because that answer would most likely be no.
Almost every day this week we had a meeting for part of the day and then we spent the read of the time working in our rooms or on our own materials. This is with the exception of Tuesday which was spent working on just our content areas and talking about how we can make our classroom assessments better. I spent most of the week at the high school that is further from my house and out in the woods. I have been feeling a little more comfortable at this school and I'm not sure exactly why that is. The staff seems to be a little bit more cohesive, or at least the math department, and there is one teacher there who is close to my age and has kind of taken me in and helped me out quite a bit. I was at the other school on Thursday and while it was still a good day and I was able to get a lot done I ended up leaving feeling overwhelmed and terrified that I was going to screw so much up because of the fact that I'm balancing the two schools. I want to do what is best for the kids and only having me there every other day could get interesting. I think it will be fine, just an adjustment. I need to make sure that I stay organized, and on top of life!
Whether or not I'm truly ready for what I'm getting into, we shall see. I feel like I am ready for the first day (really 2 days since it is block scheduling). After that, I will need to do a lot more lesson planning and grading and go from there. Things will get busier and I will learn the true meaning of finding balance between work and "life". Considering I've been at school until 5 or 6 most of this week, I'm hoping to limit it to not too much later than that most nights, but we'll see. I also hope to not have to bring too much of my work home with me. These are all of my hopes and dreams, we'll see what reality has in store for me as the next few weeks play out.
Friday night the Woodgrove Wolverines had their first home football game and did amazingly! They won 52-7 and it was a good game! It was fun to go and watch the students play with a few new and a few veteran teachers. I will have mainly freshman and sophomores there but who knows, some of them might be football players and it is always good to show support!
Saturday I spent most of the day at school getting things ready and then came home and relaxed. I was hoping to go out for drinks with a friend but was fighting a migraine all day. Between stress, the crazy changes in weather/pressure, and my neck muscles fighting against me I ended up being stuck at home trying to calm myself down. I ended up taking some of my migraine medicine and sleeping. It was frustrating but I got a decent nights sleep and I felt a bit better in the morning.
Today I had an amazingly lazy day. I finished up stuff for school tomorrow and then just relaxed and watched tv shows, did my nails, made dinner (for the week), and tried to forget about how nervous (and terrified) I am about tomorrow. I know things are going to be fine. They are just students and I've been working in a high school for two years now and teaching math for even longer than that, but that doesn't make it any easier to get over the fact that I am now a "real" teacher and that I'm now the one in charge of these 115+ kids walking into my (5) classrooms. I think I'm capable and that I will be able to handle it, I know I have done a lot to get to this point.
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