Oh doctors...

Well it is time to update you all on the joys of chronic daily headache syndrome and my search for answers.

My hematologist came back and told me that my blood work is all normal except for the b12 deficiency. But that is easily managed with my monthly shots, so that was good news. Nothing to worry about as long as a take my b12 as directed!

I haven't been to a neurologist since I graduated college in 09. I basically gave up trying after that doctor told me "we've tried everything there is to try, and your just holding steady, so there isn't anything more I can do for you." Yep, being given up on by a doctor is really encouraging. Plus I was sick of trying different medications hoping for answers.

So today, I put aside my doubts and annoyances from previous doctors and met with another neurologist in town. To say I was anxious would be an understatement. For some reason doctors just make me nervous. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it went alright. She is a nice doctor and had looked through my information enough to know that I've jumped through a lot of hoops. I gave her the list of medications that I've already tried, and she was a little shocked by the length of it (almost 30). She also looked at my various CT and MRI reports. We talked for almost 40 minutes and she concluded that I am normal neurologically except for the headaches. She did tell me about an article she read that stated most people in my age group that suffer from daily chronic headaches tend to have them go away but that there is no way of knowing when or if that will happen, but that a majority of the the time, they will run it's course and just go away. While that is kind of reassuring it isn't a definite answer and it doesn't tell me how much longer I might be in pain. It also brings me back to the debate about whether or not I should hope for no pain or just be content to be in less pain and better able to function.

At the end she straight out told me that I have tried all of the basic medications that are used to treat these types of headaches. There are only a few classes of medications that are used and I've tried multiple things from each class. To hear that was kind of frustrating but I knew it was coming based on what my previous neurologist had told me. It came down to her deciding if it was worth jumping out of those typical classes and trying something totally different and kind of out of the blue or to just try something similar to, or exactly what I tried before. There aren't many things out there that would be new, so I'm going back to one of the first medications I tried in the beginning of this ordeal. She is hoping that my body has changed enough and that maybe it will effect me differently that it did almost 6 years ago. I was on a very high dose when I took it the last time and she thinks that it was too high which is why I had so many side effects (yay no appetite and weight loss). So instead of 100-200mg doses, I'm starting at 25mg and then tapering up to 50mg per day. This is in addition to the medication I'm already on. Who knows what will happen. I'm willing to try it for a while. I go back to see her in January and to see if anything has changed.

Am I hopeful that things will get better or change? Honestly not really. I've been on the medication before and it didn't work, but I do understand her logic that my body and headaches may have changed and may react to it now. I'm frustrated knowing that I've pretty much exhausted all of my options. I'm sick of being in pain and not being able to do the things that I want to, when I want to do them. Moving and unpacking while in extreme pain was not fun, but I didn't have a choice. As much as I have a high tolerance to pain, it would be nice to not have to limit myself, to not have to put a smile on my face and pretend everything is okay. Someday I would love to be pain free, or at least be completely honest with the people around me about what I'm experiencing but that hasn't happened for a while and I'm not too optimistic.